Are you seeking to rediscover the joy and purpose that comes with being a homemaker, amidst the clutter and the stress of modern expectations? Could the secret to a fulfilling homemaking experience be hidden in the delicate balance between love and service?
In a world where the demands and expectations placed on homemakers seem to be constantly evolving, have we lost touch with the true essence of being a homemaker? Is it about achieving perfection or creating a home that embodies love, care, and a willingness to serve? Join me as I journey through my experiences and the timeless lessons that transformed my understanding of how to be a good homemaker today.
Hello there! My name is Melissa Ringstaff and I warmly welcome you to my channel, a place where we embrace the beautiful journey of homemaking. As I’ve navigated through life, from being a young mother with a zeal for homemaking to learning the ropes of creating a nurturing and loving home, I’ve realized that the standards of being a good homemaker have significantly changed over the years.
In the bustling journey of life, many find themselves engulfed in clutter, stress, and an overwhelming sense of losing control over their homes. It brings me great sadness to witness individuals grappling with managing their homes, a skill that seems to be slipping through the cracks of time. Through personal stories and the wisdom passed down from an amazing woman who mentored me, I hope to rekindle the passion and dedication that homemaking embodies, steering clear from the pursuit of perfection and focusing on creating a home that is warm, inviting, and resonates with love and sacrifice.
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How to Be a Good Homemaker
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I love being a homemaker. Hi! My name is Melissa Ringstaff and welcome to my channel.
I think that today the standard for homemaking has lowered so much that no one really knows anymore what it means to be a good homemaker. I certainly don’t think that perfection is required but I do think that the level of care that is considered acceptable for your home or for a person’s home a family’s home has considerably changed over the last number of decades.
We see more and more women who are struggling with things like clutter, stress, feeling like their house is out of control. They don’t know how to manage their homes and that’s so sad to me. When I was growing up my mom, well, the first few years of my life, my mom was a stay-at-home mom. And then I want to say when I was eight or nine she ended up going back to work.
I know that for her that was a real disappointment. What she really wanted to be in life was a mom and homemaker and she was so good at it. To this day she’s just the most wonderful homemaker. She really inspired me to also want to be a homemaker and to care for my family and nurture my children and raise my children. All I ever really really wanted to do was be a homemaker.
When I got married the first time, I was 15 years old. I had a brand new baby and I honestly had no idea what I was doing. I really had to learn things. I made a lot of mistakes and I just was not good at homemaking. Even though I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, I didn’t have the self-discipline I guess that I needed to really maintain a neat and orderly home. And so it was a real struggle for me.
So my kids great grandmother, her name was Mrs. Jackson. She’s passed away a couple years ago now, but she took me under her wing and every time I went to her house she would show me how to be a good homemaker.
She taught me things like: how to clean the bathroom; how to do the laundry; how to iron clothes; how to care for cloth diapers – because I was using cloth diapers. She taught me how to properly make a bed. she taught me how to cook a lot of foods. She was an excellent homemaker and she took a lot of pride in her home.
I just really admired her for caring so deeply for her home and for her family and that she was always willing to serve.
I remember her telling me one time, this is always stuck with me, but I remember her telling me one time that “mothers always take the burnt piece.” That just spoke to me because it just shared with me the idea that mothers love so well that they’re willing to sacrifice even the food that they’ve prepared. You take the worst piece because if one piece is burnt you don’t want to serve that to your family you want let them enjoy the better part.
I see so much beauty in daily sacrificing yourself just like Jesus said: “there’s no greater love than a man who’s willing to lay down his life for his friends” and I just think about how much more willing I should be to lay down my life on a daily basis for those who I profess to love so much.
So really in order to be a good homemaker there’s just a few things that you need to consider.
First of all we’re not striving for perfection as homemakers. We are striving for a space in our home or a home atmosphere that feels warm and inviting and is clean enough that no one feels scared to sit down or afraid to touch things. You want even just for cleanliness and hygiene you want to maintain a space that is reasonably clean.
I know that some people really really struggle with that and that can be very devastating to a family. I’ve seen I’ve seen what that can do and it’s not pretty. So I think that valuing a clean home, there’s nothing wrong with that. Where we get ourselves into trouble is when we value a clean home over valuing those who live in our home and those who enter our home.
We want the people in our homes to feel like they can relax, like they are loved, like things aren’t more important than they are. You don’t want your loved ones to feel less valuable than your favorite teacup or a piece of furniture. Those things don’t matter nearly as much or they don’t even come close to the people who live within your home.
But at the same time we don’t want to neglect the care and keeping of our homes either. So it’s really important if you want to be a good homemaker to develop a system or a routine that works for you so that you can maintain a clean home, maintain a clean space, and that you know everyone in your household has clean underwear when they need it or clean towels when they get out of the shower or clean socks. So those things really do matter because and as I’ve told my grandchildren, you know, love isn’t just something we say it’s something we do.
And as mothers and homemakers when we care for our home and we manage all the details of our family’s life and we make sure that the laundry is done when it’s needed and when the floors need to be mopped they get mopped; when the bathrooms need to be cleaned they get cleaned…
When we do those things we are showing in a tangible way love to our family and that’s really the heart of being a homemaker. It’s serving and doing things in a way that contributes to the overall well-being of your family’s emotional and physical health. I always say when it comes to Proverbs 31 in the Bible that Proverbs 31 is not about being this perfect woman, it’s truly about living your purpose well, living out God’s will for your life; so that you serve him through the things that you’re doing for your family.
Proverbs 31 27 tells us that a virtuous woman looks well to the ways of her household and that doesn’t mean that she does everything herself. Even the Proverbs 31 woman had servants and maids. Although in this day and age, we can liken servants to say the washing machine or the dishwasher or the Roomba that cleans our floors, and those things really do service in a way that maybe servants would have served The Virtuous Woman in Proverbs 31.
But when it tells us that she looks well to the ways of her household, she was a manager of her home. She delegated. She didn’t do everything herself. She made sure that everything was getting done but that doesn’t mean that she was doing it all herself.
So, I don’t want you to ever think that being a good homemaker means that you must be completely self-sacrificing all of the time and do everything for everybody all of the time because that’s not what it means. It’s important for you to know that managing your home includes getting and asking for help. Have your kids do chores each day. Let your husband help you where he can. And just really embrace the idea that you are a manager of your home. That you are a home-maker. You’re making a home.
Being a homemaker is such a blessing and I’m so very thankful that I’ve been able to be a homemaker for my entire career as a mother. I’m definitely blessed and to this day I’m so thankful that I’ve been able to stay home raising my children and serve my family in this way. There’s no greater honor and I have loved the last 32 years of doing that.
I hope to inspire you to love your role as a homemaker and to find systems and routines that will help you and serve you well and help you run and manage your home and your family life the way you’d like to see it. And that in a way that is beneficial to not only you but to your entire family.
I’ll definitely be talking more about routines and ways that we can build systems into our week our day and our months so that we’re not run ragged all the time and yeah I just want to encourage you to embrace your role as a homemaker to strive to be a good homemaker, not a perfect homemaker but a good homemaker and to manage your home in a way that is fitting unto the Lord.
I’ll see you next time!
The journey of being a homemaker is sprinkled with moments of learning, growth, and immeasurable love. As we take this path, it’s vital to remember that being a good homemaker isn’t about achieving perfection but about fostering an environment that echoes warmth, love, and consideration for everyone who steps into our home.
It’s about finding joy in daily sacrifices, much like the epitome of love Jesus spoke of.
As I reflect on my 32-year-long journey of being a homemaker, I can’t stress enough the importance of creating systems and routines that not only facilitate a clean and inviting home but also nurture your family. It’s a delicate balance between maintaining a well-kept home and valuing the people within it above material possessions.
I hope to inspire you to embrace your role as a homemaker, finding fulfillment in serving your family and managing your home in a way that is pleasing to the Lord.
Remember, it’s not about doing it all yourself but being the manager of a home where love, care, and joy are in abundance!